wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
