Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
