I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
