you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
