just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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