your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
