where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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