is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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