...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
