google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
