I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
