is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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