I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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