Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
