you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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