Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you will always have a special place in my vag
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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