My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
