i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize