i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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