Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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