she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
