The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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