hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dear god my vagina.
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