youre lurking in front of me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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