belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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