HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Mom said you looked used
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
