my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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