According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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