is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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