Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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