im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
