What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you had me at cake vodka
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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