Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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