If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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