After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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