just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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