More tranny stories later!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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