Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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