So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
