Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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