my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
