i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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