Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
