You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
