I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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