OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
