how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
