i jhust puked up my retainher.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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