Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize