he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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