he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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