I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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