Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Do you remember whose house we're in?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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