You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize