Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
