respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
