We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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