Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
