every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize