We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
