Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
how drunk are you?
Several
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
